Monday, 27 June 2011

Practicing Yoga in The Take That Mosh Pit.

Meet Om. He is the giant robotic man who is taking centre stage on the Take That Progress tour.


I have been trying to find out why he is called that but can't so have made up my own explanation.
If you've never tried to get to the front of the stage at a Take That gig then let me explain.
There are women down there (not young) who have been waiting since the last tour (two years) for TT to grace Hampden again. They will have been standing outside waiting for the gates to open since eight o'clock that morning. They will have a plan. They will know exactly where to stand for the best view (as they will have used youtube for research- B stage, if you're wondering). They want to be close enough to smell Gary's aftershave.
Two words; Nae Messing
This is not like the pit at a rock gig where it's every man for themselves. There are unwritten rules. God help you if you dare get in front of one of them.
My friends and I were there last Thursday. We were a bit late into the fray ( lavvy and bar queues-nightmare!). Before we knew it though we were in the eye of the storm drawn like moths to a flame by the magnificent sight of Howard swaying to 'patience.'
I could feel myself getting punched in the back but let it slide as I thought it was just a bit of the usual argy bargy but the punching continued. It was like sitting on an aeroplane with an angry toddler kicking the back of your seat.
I turned around to see an enraged face, bad highlights and too much fake tan. First instinct,
"Eh, sorry doll, didnae realise you'd marked out yer territory with Buckfast"
But knowing in my heart of hearts that would only lead to getting my head kicked in (Oh god the shame, what if Howard saw?) I looked up at Big Om and thought yogic thoughts.
'Namaste', I said (not out loud)
I made myself recognise that she had a soul. I let the divinity in me bow to the divinity in her. After all we were both there for the same reason our love of the mighty Take That...


So yes Om, a symbol to keep us calm and as one in the midst of battle. Or if yoga's not your thing. They could just as easily have called him Jesus...




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